I hope your f-ing tree dies!

Even though Jim and Kevin are at the Three Speed Tour this weekend a few of us kept the Hiawatha home fires burning and rode this morning. I rode the Robin Hood to establish a connection between the 3 Speed Tour and the morning's ride. We trucked up north and escorted Jim W., our de facto leader, to work. Jim insisted that we eat at McDonald's, breaking with all previously established tradition. It was only after the resident forester threatened to spray paint an orange ring around Jim's midsection that sanity was restored.

We did break from tradition, and instead of eating pastry we all indulged in full on breakfast. Eggs, toast, hash browns, flapjacks, the works. We got Jimmy to work safely by promising to deliver a brown bag lunch with a diagonal cut sandwich around noon. He totally bought it. Sucker.

Next week I hope to ride the same route, but I'm going to ask Jim if I can borrow his Xtracycle. I've got some custom cat furniture on order that I need to bring home.


After I got home I convinced the wife that it would be a good idea to take a short bike ride to grab some lunch. I told her that if you get food while riding a bike, you don't have to count the calories. It's pretty much how I live my life. It was her first time on a bike since last summer when I sent her off on her own with a leaky rear tire. I still don't think she's forgiven me.

Date: May 19
Mileage: 22
Ride type/Bike: Hiawatha/Robin Hood
May mileage: 285
Year to date mileage: 1575

Date: May 19
Mileage: 7
Ride type/Bike: Lunch with wife/Robin Hood
May mileage: 292
Year to date mileage: 1582

Minneapolis Bike to Work Day

A total of 7 riders showed up for the Minnehaha Park Bike to Work route Friday morning, including myself. The fact that 4 were Hiawatha Regulars who actually were not going to work, and a fifth was a Hiawtha Regular who was detouring out of his way to work means we really had one rider who showed up purely because it was bike to work day. It matters not, it was still a fun ride. Sort of like a Saturday Morning ride, but on a Friday.


We were waiting at the stoplight (because we're all responsible types) across the street from the Plaza when the skies opened up. As we ducked into a bus shelter, most of the folks on the plaza headed for the hills. We never really saw the plaza before the rain started, but I was left with the impression that it was sort of a small turnout.


I think the city dropped the ball this year on promoting this event. As a ride leader I got a few emails about promotions, but they were always only one day's notice or same day, so I was never able to help out. I'm guessing a lot of people had the same type of scenario. We never even got pdf files of the fliers until Monday of this week. Great idea, poor execution. But I will do it again next year, given the opportunity. If nothing else, I get the opportunity to ride with some supportive friends.


Date: May 18
Mileage: 25
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
May mileage: 263
Year to date mileage: 1553

Bike to Work day tomorrow

The City of Minneapolis website has been updated with a new bike to work day link showing departure times and locations for all the Minneapolis routes for tomorrow. The route I'm leading from Minnehaha Park is scheduled to depart at 7:00am. We'll convene between the Falls and the Sea Salt restauraunt/shelter. I plan to be there around 6:45. Leaving at 7 should put us downtown around 7:30 or so, depending on red lights and the overall speed of the group. The route this year was chosen to highlight the "new" section of Greenway. We're going up Minnehaha Ave, so we won't see all of it, but we will get a chance to check the progress of the new bike bridge at Hiawatha. Thrills!

My personal Bike to Work month challenge has been questioned by my dear wife. I've scheduled my wisdom tooth extraction for next Thursday the 24th. She asked "Won't this mean you're not going to be able to ride every day in May?" For clarification, I never said I would ride every day in May. My proposition was that every time I went to work in May, I would ride. This means that I only fail if I drive to work. Since I won't be working that day, I'm still in good shape. But today is causing me some consternation. My daughter woke up sick today and couldn't go to school. So I'm working from home. According to my earlier logic, I didn't go to work so this day doesn't count. But, I did have to drive my car to work to get my laptop. So technically I'd call today a failure.

Three speeds...

I was really OK with not registering in time to go on the Three Speed Tour this year, and not being able to pretend I'm a Gentleman Cyclist for the weekend. But then I read that Jim wasn't able to attend, and it got me thinking that I could go in his stead. I also learned that my children will be with their grandparents that weekend, so I could leave home guilt-free for an overnight event.

I've since learned that Jim is a responsible sort of fellow (who would have guessed?!) and has already emailed the organizers of his cancellation. So my plan to pretend to be Jim is foiled. I'm still half tempted to go anyway and ride as a rogue. But it's kind of down to the 11th hour now. Would I be able to find/make a suitable outfit? Is the Robin Hood really up to the challenge? Who would I ride with? Where would I stay? What would I do with myself on Saturday night, assuming I couldn't attend the dinner? The number of unanswered questions divided by the number of days before the event means I probably won't go. But I'm still pondering.

Date: May 14
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Schwinn/Commute
May mileage: 218
Year to date mileage: 1508

Date: May 15
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Schwinn/Commute
May mileage: 238
Year to date mileage: 1528

This is why I bring a camera

A couple years ago there was a story about our beloved president falling off a Segway. Here he is with Bush the First, and the ungraceful leap:

And here's Ray today, riding one:


Does this mean Ray's smarter than the leader of the free world?


Date: May 11
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
May mileage: 165
Year to date mileage: 1453

Date: May 12
Mileage: 27
Ride type/Bike: Hiawatha/Jamis
May mileage: 192
Year to date mileage: 1480

Bike to Work Day 2007

Next Friday, May 18, is Bike to Work Day here in Minneapolis/St Paul. As some of you know, I've led the route coming from Minnehaha Park to downtown Minneapolis for the last two years. I'm planning to lead the same route again this year, and would love to see anybody and everybody out there. The event has really grown, and should be a great time. This year there will be a destination in both downtown St Paul and downtown Minneapolis. And between the two destinations a total of 27 published bike routes! There are also 8 walking routes if you prefer to flâneur. All of this and more info is available at the Bike to Work 2007 website.

Date: May 10
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
May mileage: 145
Year to date mileage: 1433

Time to mow

I know everybody's busy taking care of their lawns. Just wanted to take a moment and share my newest purchase.

Virgin. Never seen grass before. I know you're dying to try it. I haven't mowed yet, so come on over. You know you want to.

VelociPete's Bicycle Maintenence Tips

Today's Tip: Quick and easy chainring cleaning

In today's maintenence tip, I'm going to tell you how to quickly clean the dirt and grime from your chainring.
1. Walk bike up to your children's bus stop and see them off on their way to school.
2. Swing right leg over bike as school bus pulls away. Listen for tell-tale ripping sound, indicating you've torn a seam in your pants.
3. Ride back into the driveway so you can change your pants before going to work.
4. Accidentally get your foot stuck in the clipless pedal.
5. Totter precariously, about to fall over because you can't put your foot down. Flail your arms a bit for the neighbors' entertainment.
6. At the last minute, regain your balance and plant your right foot. Here's the important part. As you plant your foot, make sure your calf scrapes the chainring. This will ensure that all the grime transfers from the chainring to your leg. And the blood will act as a lubricant and cleanser on the chainring.

That's it! Depending on how large your chainring and/or calf is, you may need to rotate your cranks partially and repeat the process. Try to get the cuts on your calf to overlap so you can get a totally bitchin' scar out of the deal.

Tomorrow's tip: How to diagnose early signs of lockjaw.

Date: May 8
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
May mileage: 125
Year to date mileage: 1413

Catsup

I feel like this blog is about a week behind. Must be some kind of blockage in the system. I've been riding a lot, writing not so much. I haven't even been reading much, preferring sudoku to fiction as of late. Some highlights:

- Wednesday took the long way home over into St Paul and all the way down the River Road/Shepard Road trail to 35E, and then the Big River Regional Trail home from there. A nice change of pace.
- Did the airport loop with the Boys of Hiawatha on Saturday. I ballparked it as 13 miles, but I'm totally guessing as I have no idea where I was most of the time. Plus the 10 mile to the shop and back.
- Got soaked on the way home Monday evening. It was a lovely warm rain, I could have ridden all day in it. But a hot shower felt good too.

Now you're up to date. May is Bike to Work month, and I'm going to try and bike every single day of May. Does the fact that I missed May 1 make this a completely futile gesture? Who cares.

Date: May 2
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
May mileage: 24
Year to date mileage: 1312

Date: May 3
Mileage: 18
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
May mileage: 42
Year to date mileage: 1330

Date: May 4
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
May mileage: 62
Year to date mileage: 1350

Date: May 5
Mileage: 23
Ride type/Bike: Hiawatha/Schwinn
May mileage: 85
Year to date mileage: 1373

Date: May 7
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Hiawatha/Schwinn
May mileage: 105
Year to date mileage: 1393

Ironman Ride Report

I had a great time at this year's Ironman ride. The weather was nearly ideal, at least as ideal as you're really going to get in late April in MN. According to Kevin's fancy bike computer, here's what we rode:

Distance: 104.33
Riding time: 6:52
Avg Speed: 15.2
Max Speed: 33.8 (whee!)
Feet Climbed: 3054

I'm sure that our stats varied somewhat, but we rode together enough that it's probably pretty close for me as well. Here's a few high points that I remember from the ride, in more or less a chronological order.

Kevin, Doctor Bob and I headed west toward Belle Plaine and even though the wind was fairly stiff we made good time. After the first rest stop in Jordan we felt good, and decided to skip the Belle Plaine stop. I think we had met up with Mark and his friends at this point, but it's a little hazy. Mark kept joining and leaving and rejoining us through the day. Somewhere near Belle Plaine we met up with Doug of MNBicycleCommuter fame. I'm realizing now that I've somehow become unsubscribed to his blog, but I've corrected this error now. It's worth a read so check it out.

As we went through Belle Plaine Doctor Bob and I were riding a bit ahead and breaking wind for a growing peloton. After about 5-10 miles the route changed and the wind became a fantastic tailwind. About the same time two of the guys who had been drafting behind us offered to take over. So we ended up in the perfect sweet spot and were getting sucked along at around 26-27 mph. It was amazing.

The amazing part only lasted until the next rest stop. For the rest of the day, the wind was shifty and unpredictable. We ran into a whole lot of nice people throughout the day. I met Lynne, though I didn't know it at the time. We also met a few less than nice folks along the way. I'm not sure why, but there were some crabby people out riding. It's not the norm, but whatever.

I don't know why, but this was a hard ride report to write. Last year was my first century, and with the weather I really suffered. I think last year there was a part of me that wondered if I could really do 100 miles. This year I knew it could be done. And the conditions were much better. I could tell I was fatigued for the last 30 miles and was going slow. But looking back, I never felt like I wouldn't be able to make it. I knew I wouldn't make it quickly, but I knew I could grind it out.

I don't think the fatigue was physical as much as mental. The next day my body felt good. While I was riding I felt fairly strong, albeit slow. I think the fatigue was mental. After we turned west I was expecting a tailwind. We got it, but not all the way. I need to figure out how to mentally say "It is what it is" and ride the ride, regardless of conditions.


Date: April 29
Mileage: 104
Ride type/Bike: Ironman/Jamis
April mileage: 379
Year to date mileage: 1288

Happy Belated Birthday, Jim

Friday I ended up working from home, so I didn't get a commute in. But after I finished my office duties I decided to go visit Jim and see if I could get a free slice of cake. I spent a little time in the garage and got the Robin Hood all ready to roll and rode that up to the Shop. This was the longest distance away from home I'd ridden this bike, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Especially going across the Mendota Bridge. Some roadie looking guy jumped on the bike path just ahead of me before we started to cross, and he kept looking perplexed because he wasn't dropping the guy on the old bike. Granted, I was pushing pretty hard to keep up but it's fun to screw with the roadies.

I picked up a new tire for my Jamis, since I had the catastrophic tire issue last week at Lake Pepin. I probably could have ridden the Ironman with the "dolla dolla bill y'all" boot in there, but why take the risk? After I ate cake and chatted with Jim and then headed home with my new tire. I'm going to start riding some of my other bikes on a more regular basis. That's part of the fun of having more than one, right?

Date: April 27
Mileage: 10
Ride type/Bike: Errand/Robin Hood
April mileage: 275
Year to date mileage: 1184

First rate work, officer.

I was running a bit late tonight so I decided to take the train part way home, to save time. When I take the train home, I ride all the way to the Warehouse District station so I can get on first and don't have to squeeze my bike past the hoards of commuters that get on at Nicollet Station. I was riding down 9th Ave downtown in the bike lane, passing car after car after car. Traffic was ugly, but I was flying.

I came up to a parking ramp that spills out onto 9th. As usual, there was a Minneapolis cop there making sure everybody gets out in a civil fashion. I slowed down in the bike lane and waited for the cop to see me. Once he did, he waved me forward and said, "Go ahead." Then he followed it up with "Be careful. You're fuckin' crazy." I was riding in such a non-crazy manner, I can only assume he meant for biking downtown at all. I thanked him for his concern and pedaled on.

I hung a right onto Hennepin, home of the two-way bike lane. One of very few two lane bike lanes in Minneapolis, at least as far as I'm aware. Just wide enough to park a cruiser in.

Now, I realize there could have been an emergency inside and this was the best option for everybody's safety. But...

Date: April 25
Mileage: 11
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 265
Year to date mileage: 1174

Throw out your gold teeth, and see how they roll

I don't have any gold teeth, but I do have a few fillings from when I was a youngster and ate way more sugar than I do now. But I haven't had a cavity for longer than I can honestly remember. But that's not through any particularly diligent dental routine on my part, mainly just good luck. About a year ago, I decided to straighten up and fly right and start getting in to the dentist for the regularly scheduled cleaning that my insurance pays for. No sense paying for the benefit if I'm not using it as often as possible, right?

Last spring my new dentist told me that I should have my wisdom teeth taken out. Sure thing, no problem, sez I. I'll have it done before I come back in November. But, no sense losing out on good cycling days during the summer being knocked on my butt for a few days by oral surgery. I can put that off until the weather starts to turn. October, no later. I swear.

At my 6 month cleaning in November both my hygenist and dentist scolded me, gently, for still having the same number of teeth as I'd had on my last visit. Sure thing, no problem, sez I. I'll have it done before I come back in May. You see where this is headed, don't you? Things are so hectic around the holidays. Plus, I'd rather have Lasik than oral surgery. I can put that off until January, when being outside is a bitch. February, no later. I swear.

Last night I thought I had something caught in my teeth as I was watching The Riches. I'd been eating some chips and salsa and assumed it was just a chunk of chip. So I hit it hard with the fancy toothbrush thinking it would dislodge the offending snack item. It turns out I dislodged a chunk of filling. And unfortunately it's on a tooth that borders one of the aforementioned wisdom teeth. Long story short, the dentist says "Sorry, can't help you. Get thee to an oral surgeon." So I've an appointment for May 1, and I'm hoping like hell my mouth holds together through the weekend. And in a bit of irony, or at least amusing juxtaposition, my Ironman rider packet showed up in the mail today.

Edit: In another bout of amusing juxtaposition just after I posted this, iTunes' random protocol served up the classic Metallica nugget: "(Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth" It's a mainly crappy bass solo, with some drums and guitar thrown in at the end. In the harsh light of honest appraisal, the worst track on Kill 'Em All. But the all out onslaught of the next track, Whiplash, makes up for it. But tonight the title alone made me laugh and not fast forward to the next track.

Date: April 24
Mileage: 10
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 254
Year to date mileage: 1163

Lake Pepin ride report

There actually wasn't a lot of suffering on the Lake Pepin loop this Sunday. At least on my part. Byron, the guy who had ridden a total of 15 miles this year before the ride did a little suffering, but somebody's got to. Thanks for taking one for the team, Byron. We rolled out in crack military road trip formation for the caravan down to Red Wing. Big props to Rob for giving me a ride down and back. Not only saving gas but maybe lives. I might have dozed off if I'd been driving solo on the way home.

I found out I'm a lousy bicycle photojournalist. I took a grand total of 11 photos on a ride that lasted nearly 6 hours and had about that number of rest stops. Most of the rest stops involved food. That's a ride I can get behind.

I learned a couple of things on this ride. One, my rear tire needs truing. Two, industrial sized staples can go all the way through a 25mm tire and come out the other side. And you can ride that way for about a mile and a half before the tube blows. I also learned I can change a tire on the side of the road while logey from a big cro-bag sammy and being heckled. And I even learned a skill, booting a tire with a $1 bill. If I was a wealthy bike shop owner I would have used a $20. Rumor has it there's carbon fiber woven into the twenties these days.

Even though the forecast was sketchy we only got rained on the last 10 miles or so. I even managed to get a little sunburn on my nose and forearms. Just enough to remind me to pack sunscreen for the Ironman, no matter what the forecast.

Today, I was tired but not overly so. And I was kind of sore, but again not overly so. I think I could have gone the additional 30 miles yesterday to make a full century. But at the same time I'm glad we only did 70.

Thanks for a great ride, gentlemen.


Date: April 22
Mileage: 70
Ride type/Bike: Lake Pepin loop/Jamis
April mileage: 244
Year to date mileage: 1153

What is that, 90% Rayon?

Conversation with my wife upon my arrival home.

Her: Oh, is that your new biking shirt?

Me: No, I wore this to work today.

Her: (dismayed) Oh no. Really?

Me: Really.

Date: April 19
Mileage: 12
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
April mileage: 156
Year to date mileage: 1065

Date: April 20
Mileage: 18
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Jamis
April mileage: 174
Year to date mileage: 1083

The Ironman Cometh

I signed up for the Ironman last Friday. Today's the last day to register, I believe. But now that I'm signed up I'm starting to realize how woefully unprepared I am. I'm sitting at just over 1000 miles for the year, but I think my longest ride so far has been about 35 miles. I'd hoped to get out this past weekend for something longer, but since I'd procrastinated and not done my taxes yet it wasn't meant to be. This seems to be a somewhat common theme among cyclists. Perhaps not riding is my punishment for waiting until the last minute.

So now I'm 11 days away, and haven't ridden since last Friday. I'm hoping to get out on Sunday for the Hiawatha Lake Pepin trip, but even that could be a suffer-fest.

Date: April 13
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 144
Year to date mileage: 1053

What's missing?

Those of you with sharp eyes will notice there's something missing from this photo. It's the little thumb screw part of the presta valve that screws down and keeps air from leaking out. It came off inside my frame pump when I was fixing yet another flat a week or two ago. Finally remembered to upload the pics from the camera.

I also replaced the brake pads. The old ones, shown at the bottom, were significantly thinner than the new ones. No wonder I wasn't getting any stopping power from the rear wheel.

On the plus side, I got a batch of beer bottled tonight. Irish Stout. But you probably already knew that from the shamrocks.

Arrogant Worms

I've had the following song stuck in my head for the better part of a week. I am now trying to publicly exorcise the demon.

Oh the Wolfe Island ferry is a very nice ferry
It's a very nice ferry it's the Wolfe Island ferry
The Wolfe Island ferry is a very nice ferry
It's a very nice ferry it's the Wolfe Island ferry

General Wolfe beat General Montcalm on the Plains of Abraham
And because of this they liked him an awful lot in Kingston
But the town was named Kingston in the county Frontenac
So they spotted an island and they called it Wolfe Island

Chorus

It's got a couple highways and a really nice restaurant
Called the General Wolfe and it's named after General Wolfe
Who won a couple battles and had an island named after him
It's a really nice place and a good port to smuggle booze in from the States

Chorus

Oh the Wolfe Island Ferry doesn't carry many wolves
Or any sorts of animals except a couple of seagulls
Who are really lazy so they ride on the ferry
and that way they don't have to fly all the way to Wolfe Island

Oh the Wolfe Island ferry doesn't carry any fairies
Cause fairies unlike seagulls don't really mind the flying
They fly over to Wolfe Island sprinkling fairy dust all over
But it's really more like battery acid so you burn your skin until you die

Oh they got lots of potatoes and Anne of Green Gables
Oh crap that's Prince Edward Island
Sometimes I get confused when I switch my medication
But I can see the bunny

Chorus

Date: April 3
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Trike
April mileage: 52
Year to date mileage: 961

Date: April 4
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 72
Year to date mileage: 981

Date: April 5
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 96
Year to date mileage: 1005

Date: April 9
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 120
Year to date mileage: 1029

DHL

In 2003, DHL purchased Airborne Express for about $1 Billion dollars. Their intent was to use Airborne's existing domestic fleet to augment their international network and become a threat to UPS and other shipping giants. Since 2003, the once familiar grey Airborne vans were quietly repainted and/or replaced , and the grey fleet became bright DHL yellow. Highly visible trucks, vans, and planes. They want to grow, according to the new combined company's chairman Carl Donaway. Donaway said, "And if we're going to grow, we're going to need more capacity."

This morning I was heading toward work, traveling north in the bike lane on Minnehaha Ave. As I approached 45th Street a DHL van turned north onto Minnehaha about 50 feet ahead of me. Traffic was fairly light, but the DHL van decided not to utilize the nearly empty main lane. Instead, the driver drove north in the bike lane. Apparently he was looking for a house and couldn't quite read the house numbers from the actual car lane. After a few blocks(!) he found the house he was looking for. Because there were a few cars parked in front of the house he wanted, he just stopped in the bike lane. Looking for an address is arduous business, so he'd been driving slowly. I'd been pacing him at about 50 feet behind for those few blocks. But once he stopped, I had to pull up and stop. There was, of course, traffic blocking me from taking the auto lane to go around the DHL van.

I pulled up behind the van and stopped. After waiting a few seconds, I gave the back door two quick open-palmed smacks to get the driver's attention. He looked at me in the rear view mirror, and I gestured for him to pull forward and park somewhere other than a valid lane of traffic. Instead of doing the considerate thing and moving, he shut off the van and got out with his package. I said, "You can't park here, this is a bike lane." His response? "Yeah." And then he walked off toward the house to deliver the package.

So, with the "How's my driving?" bumper sticker staring me straight in the face I pulled out the cell and called 800-827-SAFE. I informed them that the DHL truck number ZE506 had both driven in the bike lane and was currently parked in the bike lane. I'm not sure what's done with those reports, but it made me feel better. Carl Donaway says his company needs more capacity to grow. I would disagree, Carl. If you're going to grow, you're going to need more courtesy.

Date: April 2
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
April mileage: 26
Year to date mileage: 935

That's the cleanest chain I've ever seen!

After a rainy, cold commute on Friday with a(nother) flat tire on the Schwinn, I decided to spend the weekend doing some long overdue bike maintenence. I swapped out the tires on the Schwinn for my Panaracers, hoping that this will alleviate the constant flat tires on the Schwinn. The rear tire that was on there was so worn that I threw it away. I also swapped out the moustache bars for a set of cheapie road drops I picked up a week or two ago. The moustache bars just weren't working for me on that bike. They'll see service again somewhere, I'm sure.

I started looking at all the bikes hanging on the wall, and about maintenence in general. Figuring I should be a responsible bike owner, I took all the chains off and started cleaning them the Sheldon Brown way. I probably should have kept all the parts seperate instead of putting them into one giant bucket. But, it should only take me about 6 hours to reassemble everything. Time well spent, if you ask me.

Date: March 30
Mileage: 19
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 284
Year to date mileage: 885

Date: March 31
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 308
Year to date mileage: 909

What Headwind?

There's a scene in Groundhog Day when Bill Murray is lamenting the fact that he got stuck with a crappy day to repeat over and over. He says, "I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over?" Today was *that* day for this particular (and peculiar) bike commuter. At least as far as bike commuting goes. That whole "making love like sea otters" portion carries a fair amount of weight. But we're talking bikes here.

I got up this morning and checked the forecast, and saw that it was supposed to be in the mid 70's by the afternoon. Yippee! I dressed in a short sleeve jersey (for the ride home), with a long sleeved shirt over the top and my bike vest over that. And then I made the executive decision to wear shorts. Mainly because I couldn't find my tights, but still. I got out there and it was the perfect level of clothing. I love it when I nail the clothes for the conditions right on the head. When I got to work, there was an extremely attractive young woman in the entryway who handed me a plastic bag containing a bottle of Dasani, a Powerbar, a carabiner with a compass attached, and a big pad of post-it notes. It wasn't because I rode in, but rather some big promo at work. But I'm not going to sneeze at a free bottle of water and a Powerbar after biking 12 miles.

This afternoon, the weather was just so perfect I didn't really need anything else to go right. We ended up topping out at 81 degrees, shattering the previous record. And, the Minneapolis Parks folks reinstalled the handle on my favorite pump by the parkway. The perfect capper.

Date: March 24
Mileage: 27
Ride type/Bike: Hiawatha/Schwinn
March mileage: 239
Year to date mileage: 840

Date: March 26
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 265
Year to date mileage: 866

Wile E. Coyote, Super-Genius

At our household we receive news from the future. On Tuesday March 23rd the March 26th edition of Newsweek magazine appeared in our mailbox. It's kind of like that show where the guy always got his newspaper a day ahead of time. I'm still trying to figure out a way to make myself rich with all my advance knowledge. But, I suppose that would involve actually reading the magazine. For, even though my name's on the cover, I never read it. My lovely wife does, and sometimes she even shares interesting stories with me.

Next week's edition has a story about the relationship between exercise and the brain. The long and the short of it is that researchers think regular exercise makes you smarter.

The process starts in the muscles. Every time a bicep or quad contracts and releases, it sends out chemicals, including a protein called IGF-1 that travels through the bloodstream, across the blood-brain barrier and into the brain itself...[John] Ratey, author of the upcoming book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain," calls this molecule "Miracle-Gro for the brain." It fuels almost all the activities that lead to higher thought.

While we cyclists are notoriously weak and spindly in the upper body, our quads do quite a bit of work. According to this, I should be figuring out how to cure cancer or something. So why is it I can still walk into a room and forget why I went there in the first place?

Date: March 16
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 136
Year to date mileage: 737

Date: March 19
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 162
Year to date mileage: 763

Date: March 21
Mileage: 24
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 186
Year to date mileage: 787

Date: March 22
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 212
Year to date mileage: 813

Theme Rides

Jim was talking about maybe having a theme ride some Saturday morning. So, having a bit of free time on my hands I decided to visit my local eBay to see what kind of deal I could find on furry assless chaps. I certainly wasn't expecting this.

YOU ARE BIDDING ON A PHENOMINAL PAIR OF NASTY PIG BRAND CHAPS WITH A RED STRIPE DOWN THE LEG. THIS IS PERFECT FOR THE GUY WHO CANNOT JUSTIFY SPENDING ALL THAT MONEY ON A NEW PAIR BUT WOULD BE COMPLETELY HAPPY WITH A USED PAIR. THEY ARE MADE OUT OF A RUBBER NEOPRENE STYLE WITH A LOT OF STRETCH! NOW THESE CHAPS HAVE BEEN TO A LOT OF LEATHER EVENTS AND CURCUIT PARTIES. THEY STILL LOOK AWESOME EVEN WITHT THE LITTLE SPOTS. THE SPOTS ARE WHERE THE RUBBER HAS KIND OF WORN OFF BUT IS HARDLY NOTICABLE...ESPECEALLY WHEN YOU GO OUT. PLEASE LOOK CLOSELY AT THE PICS. I MADE SURE THAT THE SPOTS CAN BE SEEN WITH THE CAMERA. THIS IS ONE ITEM I WILL REFUND IF YOU ARE NOT FULLY SATISFIED. YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE SHIPPING COSTS IF YOU RETURN IT TO ME. PLEASE NOTE, BLACK MOTORCYCLE RIDING BOOTS AND THONG ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THIS AUCTION. THESE ARE PRETTY EXPENSIVE WHEN NEW. I WILL ACCEPT CHECK OR MONEY ORDER, BUT IT MUST CLEAR BEFORE I SEND THE CHAPS OUT. GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY BIDDING! CHECK OUT MY OTHER AUCTION ITEMS!


On second thought, maybe I'll just skip that ride. I'm sure I'm going to be out of town that weekend.

Date: March 13
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 82
Year to date mileage: 683

Date: March 14
Mileage: 30
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
March mileage: 112
Year to date mileage: 713

Like a Heavy Loaded Fruit Tree

Nobody cares what dress she wears at all
Tattered rags and paper bags and all
She's the one sleeping in the dirt
Drag her down, don't let her drown in dirt
- Beck, Soldier Jane


Wondering what to do with those old inner tubes? And no, leaving them on the side of the road isn't a good solution. Make yourself an outfit! This dress, with matching handbag, was made with discarded bicycle inner tubes. I could probably make some assless chaps with all the tubes I've got in the garage.

Why yes, it does have wood siding

A few weeks ago I posted some pictures of the poor snow-plowing at the intersection of Hiawatha and the Greenway. Right after I took the photo I rode around the snowbank to get ready to cross. My left pedal hit the edge of the curb and the plastic cage snapped. I was somewhat surprised, because I had always assumed that the right pedal would go first. I always pull my foot out of the right cage when the terrain is uncertain, so that pedal cage has smacked the road surface thousands of times more.

That's a pedal that's seen a little action. But, through the miracle of the internet wayback machine I can take you back to when it was a young pup.

OK, so maybe it's not exactly internet trickery. It's really more of a packrat tendency. Here's the story.

I got this bike back in 1991 when I was living in Fargo-Moorhead. I rode it for about eight or nine months with the basic platform pedals that came on the bike. Then one night I was riding home from a buddy of mine's house. It was late, I'd had a few Ecto-cooler and vodka drinks (first mistake). I was riding on the sidewalk (second mistake). After crossing a street I missed the curb cut and hit the curb so hard that I dented both the front and rear rims of the bike. My feet flew off the pedals, my ass flew off the seat, and only the patron saint of dumb drunk guys kept me from crashing. I decided then I needed to get some pedals that kept my feet attached to the bike. True clipless pedals were out of my price range at the time, so I made a trip to the local Scheel's.

$19.99. Probably overpriced. But I loved the "clipped in" feeling. So much so that I tried to get the future Mrs. VelociPete to try it. I bought a second set of pedals for her bike, which is what you're seeing in the photos. But after trying my bike she decided she didn't like them. I'm not sure why I never returned these, but instead have moved them approximately 10 times across 3 different states. But there they are.

Fast forward back to the present. I rode for a few days with the busted pedal. Then last week as I was riding through Minnehaha Park I broke the cage on the right pedal. A matched pair. I thought about just swapping out the old for the "new." But since the Raleigh has become a dedicated winter commuter I've been contemplating getting rid of the straps. So I removed the cages and straps and I'm back to basic platforms.

We'll see how long it lasts. It certainly didn't help me on Wednesday when I went down on the icy Mendota bridge.

Date: March 9
Mileage: 18
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Raleigh
March mileage: 56
Year to date mileage: 657

On Second Thought

complain bitch whine moan grump crank complain wallow bellyache whimper wail bitch blame fuss grumble fret sniff snivel sob swear.

pause.

delete.

Date: March 7
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Raleigh
March mileage: 38
Year to date mileage: 639

Skating Away On The Thin Ice of a New Day

Ye gods, what a dicey commute today. As you can see, the Mendota Bridge was downright treacherous. All that lovely glare on the road surface was reflecting off of ice so smooth and shiny it would make a Zamboni driver weep with joy.

If you look real close at the second photo, you can see the tracks from my bike tires. In retrospect, I'm not sure how I managed to stay upright. But the path was like that the whole way across. As I rode the deep part of my brain that's dedicated to self-preservation kept screaming "NO MON!!! NO!! IT BE DE ICE MON, DE ICE!!!!!" But, I guess even worn down Innova studs do a decent job of keeping one upright. When I stopped to take these pictures I nearly fell victim to one of the classic blunders. I realized I don't have studs on my feet and nearly slipped and fell while walking the bike to the side of the path. It was crazy.

The rest of the ride wasn't much better. Bike lanes filled with parked cars. Where there weren't parked cars, there were huge piles of snow. Just beastly.


Date: March 5
Mileage: 18
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Raleigh
March mileage: 18
Year to date mileage: 619

The perils of a snowy climate

Before I start ragging on the men and women who plow the streets of Minneapolis, let me insert a caveat. The fine folks from Minneapolis Parks & Rec who plow the bike/walking paths and the Greenway are officially excluded. They're doing a bang-up job, and should all be given raises. Now that's out of the way.

The city of Minneapolis has done a fairly decent job of clearing the streets of the big snow dump we got last weekend. Automotive traffic is moving along at it's usual brisk pace. However, it's still a little dicey for those who are travelling by a different method. I took Portland Ave home last night and tonight, and tonight I finally whipped out the camera.

No, this car wasn't idling or just pulled in waiting for someone. It was parked. And as you can see, it took up three quarters of the bike lane. Somebody didn't want to get their tootsies wet in the puddle. Now I normally turn a blind eye when it's just one knothead. But there was at least one car like this on every block. Usually multiple. The norm was that their wheel was on the white line and they only took up a slice of the bike lane. The worst offender was a dualie pickup that's been parked in the same spot for two days straight. That thing is nearly jutting into the car lane! I'll snap a photo if it's there next time I ride.

And it's not just bike folk who are overlooked when it comes to snow removal. Here's a shot of the intersection where the Greenway crosses over Hiawatha.

The snow has been trampled down over the last three days, but the first folks who mounted that pile so they could push the walk button were risking life and limb. I took this photo from out in the street, which is where I had to be in order to cross without climbing over the mound. And if you make it past this, there are additional snow dams out in the crosswalk. That's not a long light either. Good luck!

Date: February 28
Mileage: 18
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Raleigh
February mileage: 282
Year to date mileage: 601

Close Encounters

To the tune of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer:

VelociPete got run over by a snowplow,
biking his way to work on Tuesday morn.
Fortunately there's a happy ending,
I escaped without my pants getting torn.

Yes, I was really reaching for that last rhyme. I never claimed to be a poet. Or a lyricist. Or talented in any way. And to even get there you're forced to pronounce fortunately in that single-syllable "for-tu-nate-ly" way, otherwise the rhyme scheme falls apart completely. But I digress.

As mentioned yesterday, some kind soul was plowing the Highway 55 bridge. The spotter call came in around 3:00. This morning as I rode onto the bridge I saw that the plow job had sprawled through the rest of the afternoon and into the next morning. There was a huge Kubota tractor blocking almost the entire bridge path. What I couldn't see at the time was that a single path had been plowed yesterday, but the north side of the path was still covered in a foot or more of snow.

I stopped my bike about 10-15 feet behind the tractor and started considering my options. I could lift my bike over the concrete barrier and ride out on the shoulder of the highway. I've done it before when the path hasn't been plowed. I also thought there would be room to squeeze by the tractor on the left, but just barely. And really only if I walked the bike. It was just too tight. In order to do that I'd have to figure out a way to get the driver's attention. And since I was facing the rear of the tractor I guessed that that would be more difficult than it would seem. I would later be proved correct.

As I watched, the driver backed up a couple feet and started to move the plow attachment up and down. It looked like he was trying to knock some ice loose. Or perhaps the chute was plugged and he was trying to unclog it. Either way, I certainly wasn't ready for him to decide to start backing up further. The earlier backup placed me about 10 feet from the rear of this thing, and the distance was closing. Closing extremely slowly, true. Snowplowing machinery doesn't move at warp speed. But I was running out of time.

I could see the operator's head moving side to side, checking his mirrors. I waved. He kept coming. I waved more. He kept coming. I started sliding myself toward the concrete barrier. He kept coming. I hollered at him. His rear wheel pushed past my bike and started pushing it and me toward the barrier. By this point I was close enough that I could reach out and smack the glass on his cab. That, thankfully, got his attention. He stopped the tractor. I looked over my shoulder and my left-side pannier was pressed against the barrier. My right-side pedal was touching his wheel. Absolutely nowhere to go.

At this point he opened the door about 6 inches. He couldn't open it any further, because I was in the way. At first he thought I was trying to ride around him, but I cleared up that misconception. He was very apologetic for not seeing me. I thanked him for being out there and plowing the bridge, and then I inched my way around him and continued on to work. Next time, I'm gonna throw a snowball at the cab.

Date: February 27
Mileage: 20
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Raleigh
February mileage: 264
Year to date mileage: 583

Every Cake You Bake

My extensive spotter network has informed me that there was snowblower activity on the Highway 55 bridge bike/pedestrian path this afternoon. This is good news for the Mpls to Eagan bike community. I sure as hell wasn't going to try and ride through that foot or so of snow that fell over the weekend.

Snow!

Paul Douglas was so excited on the 10:00 news last night, I'm guessing he may have needed a fresh pair of shorts after the weather segment. The computer models are agreeing, he gushed, we're gonna get a crapload of snow! I'm paraphrasing, but barely. I hope your commute home tonight is better than this:


My commute was fine. I left work at 1:45.

Date: February 21
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
February mileage: 218
Year to date mileage: 537

Date: February 22
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
February mileage: 244
Year to date mileage: 563

A Thinly Veiled Excuse To Post Photos of Hotties

I've been watching the Tour of California for the last few days (update, Levi Leipheimer is still winning). One of the bright points of last year's pro cycling season was the debut of the Specialized Angel. Not to remove any of her mystique, but the Angel is really Jana Ireton. Ms. Ireton was hired by Specialized to portray the Angel, who made numerous appearances at the Tour de France last year. This photo is from 2006, her inaugural year.

She's dressed in what I can only describe as an angelic cyclist. Huge wings and a taffeta skirt, but also wearing cycling-style knickers and shoes.

The outfit didn't change throughout the 2006 season. Not quite wholesome and innocent. After all, she is wearing a bustier. But fun. Someone you might want Mom to meet.


Fast forward one year, and the Angel is making her 2007 debut.

From a distance, it appears to be a minor costume change. The skirt is gone, the Specialized logo is slightly larger and she's not wearing cycling shoes.

But wait. When the sun hits her here, the reflection says something more. She's wearing vinyl or some other similar, kink-worthy material. But the coup de grace? Those boots.

We've gone from kink to outright fetish-wear. I can hardly wait until next year.

An opportunity to shoot your mouth off

Bicyclists & pedestrians

The City of Minneapolis needs your input!
Open house
Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2007
4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
Minneapolis City Hall
350 S. Fifth St.
Room 220
Use the 4th St. Entrance after 6 p.m.


• Where in Minneapolis do you see a need for more biking and walking?
• Take a look at our proposed projects – help us set priorities. Which ones have possibilities for increasing biking and walking in a short amount of time?


For more information, visit:
www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/bicycles


Date: February 19
Mileage: 26
Ride type/Bike: Commute/Schwinn
February mileage: 192
Year to date mileage: 511